To understand or not to understand

I now know a few words I should have picked up months ago.  Wakarimashita (分かりました。), I understand, and wakarimasen (分かりません。), I don't understand.  Nihon-go wa wakarimasen = I don't understand Japanese.  Wakarimashita ka? = Do you understand?  I kick myself whenever I pick up something I should have known from the start.  Knowing these few combinations would have gotten me out of confusing situations more elegantly and, more importantly, a lot faster.  Instead of pretending I understood the Subway sandwich artist's questions and therefore unwillingly getting an entirely different sandwich than I had premeditated, I could have stood tall, said I didn't understand, and finished the sandwich-building process with dignity as I pointed and gestured towards the tomatoes and pickles. 

I see and hear updates from colleagues stationed around Japan.  Some know quite a few kanji, and most at least know hiragana and katakana (if you want to understand what hiragana, katakana, and kanji consist of, check out this website).  I, however, produce giggles from co-workers with my workbook spread out, engulfed in concentration as I practice writing 'apple' in hiragana. 

a glimpse of my hiragana workbook



I don't want to place blame when it comes to my lack of Japanese speaking and writing abilities; the blame should be placed on me, but I'm going to go ahead and point my finger at the GRE. 

This past August through December was filled with study sessions at Starbucks (I need incentives, OK?), graduate school applications, and a preoccupation with the future.  I turned down invitations to socialize, and felt guilt-ridden when I was doing something other than studying.  I could have been anywhere in the world those few months and wouldn't have noticed.  I would be reminded of my international status when arriving at work on Mondays and not understanding 80% of what was transpiring.  Preparing myself for the GRE and applications felt like a full-time job.

At this point I wonder if it's worth it, to put my nose to the grindstone and learn more Japanese.  I'll be finished with my job at the end of March, and I may leave only a few months after that.  Learning hirigana is useful to an extent, but I will need to learn the Japanese meanings in addition to this new phonetic alphabet if I want to make the most of it.  The thing that keeps me going is a recent memory of Tom gleefully reading hiragana at a train station.  Like me, he has an ample amount of time at work to do what he likes (to an extent), and part of that time this new year has been spent learning written Japanese.
His joy found when sounding out a station name has led me to the conclusion that I will continue to work on my Japanese writing and speaking abilities.  Two months is short in the scheme of things, but when I consider how many interactions I will have with Japanese-speaking persons at the grocery store, restaurants, and school, it's a long time.  Maybe I'll only ever use Japanese at Fuji Ya in Uptown, but that's beside the point.  The studying exercises my mind and prepares me for a future filled with at least another two years of formal education and a lifetime of learning.